Moving overseas: some of the things I wish I would’ve known

After graduating from Colegio Arubano at 17, I felt clueless - what was I going to do next? At that time, I felt like I was the only one going through this dilemma. However, the fact is that most students don’t know exactly what they want to do when they finish high school. High school can sometimes feel like it’s about fulfilling others’ expectations - from parents to teachers. Most students don’t take the time - certainly not at 16, 17 or 18 - to plan their future. Because I was feeling so uncertain about what my next step in life was going to be, I took a “gap year” to give myself the time and space to figure it out. After considering many options, it was clear to me: I wanted to pursue a higher education, whether it was going to be on the island or abroad. 

Leaving on an airplane

Since the island itself offered limited opportunities for higher education and everyone else around me was talking about “moving to The Netherlands” I felt like that was my only option. At that point I was 18. I recall feeling very young, immature and unprepared to start a whole new life far away from my family and close friends. So, I decided to wait another year to mentally and emotionally prepare myself. The very next year, at the age of 19, I got all of my paperwork in order, hopped on a plane together with many other students and left Aruba to continue my studies in the Netherlands. A country I have never been to before. I was feeling excited, confident and determined. 

Reality kicked in

My first three to four months in the Netherlands were special. Everything was new and very interesting. And then suddenly, there came this strange feeling that took over all of my emotions. I felt lonely, very insecure and in some sense kind of lost. Above all, I was missing my family very much. While everyone else (other students) seemed to be in their honeymoon phase, I felt very disappointed that I wasn’t really enjoying the process. I would wake up, cry, go to bed and cry again. I so desperately wanted to skip to the part where studying abroad was fun and awesome (as everyone kept telling me), because as much as I wanted to be there, the thoughts of “What am I doing here?” and “How did I ever think this was a good idea?” were also very much present. 

Culture shock and homesickness 

After doing a little bit of research I learned that feeling lost in a new country was very common. Adjusting to a new environment, away from our usual emotional support system and what we’re used to culturally, is bound to give us a bit of a culture shock (disorientation) and have us experience homesickness. The one thing I was struggling with the most was that my present did not match my expectations of living and studying abroad (loneliness, stress, cultural differences, language barrier in the academic environment, no sense of belonging in the academic environment). It is easy to talk about all the new and exciting parts of moving abroad, but most people do not disclose the obstacles that we might experience when moving. At that time, only the great stories were put in the spotlight. So, I was very unaware of these challenges. I felt like it was more of a “me-problem” and didn’t know how to navigate these emotions. 

Embracing the reality

After becoming more and more aware of my emotions, understanding the environment I was in, and reaching out to people who have been living abroad for a longer period of time, I slowly started to learn how to embrace this reality and to make the most of it. I began to understand that experiencing “homesickness” and “culture shock” were just a part of this journey. Everyone experiences change differently, for some it might hit hard and less so for others. For me, it was about taking it one day at a time. 

The list

One day I woke up, picked up a piece of paper and made a list of all the things I felt like were the pros and cons about studying in the Netherlands. After writing it all down, I gave myself two options: “either you are going to pack your things and go back home or you’re going to pick yourself back up and push a little bit harder”. I knew I wanted that degree really bad, so I chose option number 2. I then decided that moving forward I was going to put all of my energy onto the good and positive things, while still recognizing and acknowledging the less positive emotions, without getting stuck in them. It certainly wasn’t easy, but I kept reminding myself each and every day of the reason why I’ve chosen to move overseas, how strong and brave I was, and that definitely boosted my confidence! 

Looking back

Looking back, my preparation before leaving was very much based on multiple articles and brochures I was reading online and many “informatiesessie voor studenten” from different organizations I attended. The information I was receiving from both the articles and the sessions were very practical focused: how to apply for a student finance, housing, insurance, how to apply for a degree programme, opening a bank account, deregistration, important documents you have to bring with you et cetera. Even though it is very very important to have all of these practical matters in order before leaving, those were not the only pieces of information and advice my younger self needed before moving overseas. Here’s a few key things I wish I would’ve known before embarking on the adventure of studying abroad: the Dutch culture, the cultural differences, the language, communication in the academic environment, the Dutch higher education system, budgeting and finances, mindset, dealing with stress. If I could do it again, I’d prefer to move abroad armed with knowledge and advice ranging from the practical aspects to the emotional aspects. The great stories, the amazing experiences, and the obstacles!

If you made it this far into this blog, I want you to know that studying abroad is extremely rewarding in many ways. It’s an exciting adventure where you’ll meet new people, you’ll face new opportunities, and personal growth. While all of these amazing things are waiting for you, proper preparation is essential to get the most out of your studies abroad. And remember! It's never too early to start planning and preparing.